As Hoxton’s still brushing confetti out of her hair, it falls to me to keep this blog going. Honestly, I have to do everything around here. However this does afford me the opportunity to sort the place out and give you some properly useful information, instead of her wittering on about some nonsense, so I am taking over the Handmade. At least until she notices that I’ve hacked my way into the website admin and takes away my broadband privileges. So, to business.

Apparently it is Spring. In fact, it’s almost Summer. Not that you would know this from the English climate, which appears to have got itself stuck somewhere around late February. It’s cold and windy, the skies filled with ominous grey clouds, and my new barbecue is forlorn and unused.

I have managed to dodge the annual shearing so far, as even Hoxton can’t bear the thought of me naked and shivering in my bunker. She offered to knit me a jumper, but I can’t get my head around that particular piece of meta-wool-wear, and besides, I’m not a chihuahua.

But to cheer you up, here are a few things that have been seeing me thought the cold snap:

  • Dan Brown’s new book. What can I say, Inferno is a seminal piece of 21st Century literature, and I think it’s laudable that this piece in the Telegraph refuses to make fun of it. Not even a little bit. No sir.
  • Commander Chris Hadfield singing Space Oddity in ACTUAL SPACE! Obviously he has inspired me to take to the skies myself, and I’m currently building a rocket, from which I will broadcasting a series of ukulele concerts. It’s going to be epic.
  • Mr Men books. I had assumed these were simple children’s tales but it turns out they are fantastic allegories of philosophical thought. Who knew?
  • I have discovered these brilliant recipes for gin. It seems something of a waste to put the good stuff into a smoked salmon torte, when you could just drink it, but then again you could have an entire gin banquet. Just the thing to recommend to her Majesty for the next time she’s hosting a State dinner.
  • And finally, Brooklyn Tweed has published Wool People vol.5. I hadn’t noticed this until I found Hoxton gibbering in the corner, drooling over some photos and muttering something about tweed and cables. But then she’s obviously bonkers.

Right, time to go and see if I can crack the locks on the recording studio and sort the podcast out. The tricky part will be disabling the alarm and dodging the infra-red sensors. Honestly, it’s as if Hoxton doesn’t trust me at all.

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